Why You Feel Stuck in Stress or Shutdown — And How to Reclaim Calm and Connection
Introduction: “Why Do I Feel Like This?”
If you feel like your body is always in overdrive — wired, tense, unable to relax — or if you find yourself emotionally numb, disconnected, or exhausted for no clear reason, you are not alone. These are not signs of weakness or personal failure. More often than not, they are signals from a nervous system stuck in survival mode.
Maybe you are always “on,” finding it impossible to switch off. Or perhaps you swing between being hyper-alert and completely shut down. Either way, these patterns often have biological roots, not psychological ones. Understanding how your body responds to stress is the first step toward shifting out of these patterns and back into a state of calm, safety, and connection.
This article will help you:
Recognise the signs of stress or shutdown in your body.
Understand why you feel the way you do — without blame.
Learn how to gently “map” your nervous system.
Discover simple tools to regulate your state and feel more like yourself again.
Let us explore how you can tune into your body’s built-in stress-response system — and work with it rather than against it.
Your Body Has a Built-In Stress System — Here Is How It Works
Your body is constantly scanning the environment for signals of safety or danger, even without your conscious awareness. This process, known as neuroception, influences how you feel, act, and respond — moment to moment.
There are three main states your body can shift into, depending on how safe or threatened it feels:
1. Safety and Connection (Your “Rest and Regulate” Mode)
In this state, your body feels calm, grounded, and open to connection. You can think clearly, engage with others, and feel present in your life.
2. Fight or Flight (Your “Mobilised” State)
When your system perceives a threat, it activates. You might feel anxious, angry, tense, or like you need to act quickly or escape. This is not a choice — it is your body trying to protect you.
3. Freeze or Shutdown (Your “Conserve Energy” Mode)
If your body perceives danger as overwhelming or inescapable, it may shut down to protect you. This can feel like numbness, disconnection, fatigue, or even dissociation.
These responses are governed by your autonomic nervous system — the part of your body that handles survival without needing your conscious input. Understanding which state you are in is the foundation of mapping your nervous system.
Why You Might Feel Stuck in Stress or Shutdown
If you have experienced ongoing stress, trauma, burnout, or emotional overwhelm, your nervous system may become stuck in a chronic survival pattern. This might look like:
Feeling on edge all the time
Having a short fuse or snapping at others
Struggling to feel joy or connect with people
Feeling flat, foggy, or numb
Avoiding social interactions or withdrawing
These are not just emotional states — they are physiological conditions. Your body is doing exactly what it is designed to do when it does not feel safe. The good news is that you can learn to tune in, understand, and support your nervous system to come back into balance.
How to Map Your Nervous System: A Step-by-Step Guide
“Mapping” your nervous system means getting to know how your body responds to stress and safety. This is an empowering practice — and it begins with noticing.
Step 1: Identify What Each State Feels Like In You
Everyone experiences stress states differently. Begin by observing your:
Body sensations (e.g. tight chest, heavy limbs, shallow breath)
Emotions (e.g. irritability, sadness, numbness)
Behaviours (e.g. withdrawing, overworking, snapping at others)
Here is a guide to help:
| State | Body Sensations | Emotional Clues | Behaviours |
|---|---|---|---|
| Safety & Connection | Warmth, open breath, steady heart | Calm, present, connected | Engaging, laughing, creative |
| Fight / Flight | Tension, fast heart rate, restlessness | Anxiety, anger, urgency | Rushing, avoiding, arguing |
| Freeze / Shutdown | Heaviness, numbness, cold limbs | Disconnected, flat, empty | Withdrawing, zoning out, fatigue |
Write down your personal signals. What does safe feel like to you? What about anxious or shut down? This is your personal nervous system map.
Step 2: Track Your State Shifts Throughout the Day
Check in a few times per day:
How does your body feel?
What are your thoughts like?
Are you open and engaged, or withdrawn and tense?
Over time, you may notice patterns:
“When I get overwhelmed at work, I go straight into fight mode.”
“After a tough conversation, I shut down.”
“Being around certain people makes me feel safe and regulated.”
Awareness is the first step toward change.
Simple Ways to Support Your Nervous System Back Into Balance
Once you can identify your state, you can begin to work with it. Here are some practical strategies:
If You Are in Fight or Flight (Anxious, Agitated):
Slow your breathing — try 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out
Walk outside and feel your feet on the ground
Place your hand on your chest and breathe into it
Listen to calming music or soothing voices (tip: binaural beats can be great here!)
If You Are in Freeze or Shutdown (Numb, Low, Disconnected):
Gently move your body (rocking, stretching, walking)
Turn on lights or step into the sun
Sip warm herbal tea
Talk to a friend or therapist — even texting can help
To Build a More Resilient Nervous System Daily:
Practice mindfulness or breath awareness
Sing, hum, or gargle to stimulate the vagus nerve
Spend time in safe, supportive relationships
Try yoga, tai chi, or gentle movement
Laugh, play, or engage in meaningful connection
Consistency is more important than intensity. Regular micro-practices create long-term change.
What If I Cannot Shift My State on My Own?
Sometimes, the nervous system needs co-regulation before it can self-regulate — especially after trauma or long-term stress. That is where a skilled practitioner can help.
At Jo Martin Osteopathy, we understand how trauma and chronic stress impact the body. Our approach uses hands-on osteopathic care, nervous system-informed movement, and compassionate support to help patients gently reconnect with their sense of safety and vitality.
We have a great referral network with practitioners that can help. You do not need to do this alone.
Conclusion: You Are Not Broken — You Are Wired for Protection
Your body is not malfunctioning. It is protecting you in the best way it knows how. Mapping your nervous system is not about controlling your emotions — it is about understanding your biology and responding with compassion and skill.
With awareness, support, and the right tools, you can move from survival to connection — and rediscover a state of calm, clarity, and grounded presence.
References
References
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. Norton & Company.
Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Norton & Company.
Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.
The Movement Paradigm. (n.d.). How To Map Your Own Nervous System: The Polyvagal Theory. Retrieved from https://themovementparadigm.com/how-to-map-your-own-nervous-system-the-polyvagal-theory/